I am anonymous. That's not that scary, because I don't know the first thing...(More)

I am anonymous. That's not that scary, because I don't know the first thing about hacking. I participated in the raid on scientology, but it was child's play, simple stuff. I didn't use any back doors or fancy software. I just hit "refresh". No hackers on steroids here. The fact that I'm anonymous is not scary. The scary part is that YOU are anonymous. The guy who pumps you gas is anonymous. Your grandmother is anonymous. You don't have to log on to a Chan website, you don't have to edit EncyclopediaDramatica, or have an IRC client. The point of anonymous is that we are legion. We are everyone. We are YOU. We are EVERYONE YOU LOVE. We defend, and we destroy. Hackers on steroids, though? Give me a break. The most excellent hacking I've ever done is rickrolling someone -- sending them to a Rick Astley video instead of what you told them you were sending them to. Anonymous is not inherently malicious. Like I said, we are everyone. Some of us are assholes. Some of us are internet superheroes. But most of us just want to laugh. We want to look at pictures of things we find funny -- like a picture of a pokemon with Kevin Rudd's face photoshopped onto it, begging the question, "Do you like Ruddkips?" Like an animated gif of a cat accidentally being flung into a spinning ball with Hoppy from Starfox telling us all to do a barrel roll. We took down scientology because they threatened our freedom to pursue laughter. But it all went wrong. Some people wanted credit for the attack, and took it. They became elitist, snobs. Anonymous is about us being everyone and representing the average person. They wanted Anonymous to be just what you say it is -- an elite group of secret assholes who attack people for all the wrong reasons. So we took them out. We excised the tumor and we're in remission. Time will tell how well we did, but the point is: We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. We are you. You are already one of us. We are nothing special. We are nothing unique. You do not matter. I do not matter. We all did it for the lulz. For the laughs. We love, we hate, and we cry. And so do you. Welcome to anonymous. Please take a seat over there. By the way, the pool is closed for aids. So no swimming.(Less)