February 18th, 2008. The Post-Tribune (Merrilville, Indiana): "Affordable...(More)

February 18th, 2008. The Post-Tribune (Merrilville, Indiana): "Affordable hearing aid centers. Free can of Pork and Beans with purchase of any hearing aid." The Star Tribune (Minneapolis, Minnesota): "Police Report. A strong smell of natural gas was reported. The caller said the smell was possibly from the stove, or could have been caused by the dog." The Daily Telegram (Adrian, Michigan): "Antique bevel glass mirror. $150 or best offer. If wife answers, hang up and call back." -- Dave then re-created the probable scenario, in a woman's voice: "Honey, what happened to our antique mirror?" The Brownsburg Week (Brownsburg, Indiana): "Guess the weight of the rock and win a free burial plot." --- Dave: "They put the 'FUN' in funeral." The Lyons News (Lyons, Kansas): "For sale; size 4 new wedding gown. Bride moved next door with neighbor man." The Des Moines Register (Des Moines, Iowa): "Olds 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat." The Baxter County Bulletin (Mountain Home, Arkansas): "Boat or wife must go. Boat is an 18.5 foot Skeeter Bass Boat, garage housed entire life and in supreme condition. Wife not as impressive." The News-Star (Monroe, Louisiana): "A West Monroe man was arrested. Deputies received complaints that he was flashing his genitals to a group of young women. Deputies contacted May, and he told them his genitals 'fell out' of his pants after he forgot to zip them." Dave - "I wish I had a nickel every time this happened to me." Then adds, "Guys, am I right about that?" And that's the news in the small towns.(Less)