From the Bel Canto Opera production: Master Ford, calling himself Master...(More)

From the Bel Canto Opera production: Master Ford, calling himself Master Brook, has called on Sir John Falstaff to establish if he is having an affair with his wife, Mistress Ford, by urging him on. Falstaff relates how he was smuggled out of the house in a laundry basket under Ford's nose, then dumped into the River Thames. FORD: (AS BROOK): You were in the basket? FALSTAFF:Yes, alas! Pray, pity me...I with my enormity... curled and cramped, my bones were creaking, up my nose, the clothes were reeking, till chilled waves, which came on board, cooled my lust for Mistress Ford! Look, dear Brook, have sympathy for such indignity. FORD: Ah, indeed, a tragedy, Sir, my heart doth bleed for thee to be subject to such ruction, in the midst of your seduction of the fragrant Mistress Ford... then be doused as your reward... 'tis a fate most untoward! Now that you have faced disaster, you'll leave mistress to her master? FALSTAFF: That old cuckold's gone away, I'll seduce her... this very day. FORD: (aside) The swine! Poltroon! But hold! Calm! (to FALSTAFF) What? You'll go again so soon? FALSTAFF: Just this morning she did write me to invite me to her arms. She has promised to delight me and excite me with her charms. Her husband's off to shoot some pheasant - he'll be gone much of the day, She says "Sir John, 'twould be most pleasant if we made love while he's away. On bended knees I beg you please, love me while he's away!" FORD: So you're planning to partake? FALSTAFF:I'll go once more...for your sake. FORD: Then a thousand thanks, kind Sir (aside) I'll demolish you, you cur! FALSTAFF: Time to go, it;s nearly nine If I'm late it will upset her. FORD: Yes, today will go much better. FALSTAFF: Yes, today will go much better. FORD: Your pursuit will suit me fine FALSTAFF: For us both it will be fine FORD: I am hopeful FALSTAFF: I can tell, Sir. FORD: 'twill be fruitful. FALSTAFF: 'twill go well, Sir FORD: Now be off...it's nearly nine FALSTAFF: Now I'm off, it's going nine. BOTH: I am hopeful, 'twill be fruitful. for the outlook's looking fine, now I'm off, it's going nine. FALSTAFF: Rejoice, my friend, rejoice, my friend, our plan, you will discover will be successful in the end, and we'll both be her lover. The husband who his mistress scorns for us will wear a pair of horns (to the pair of horns in the orchestra) Ha ha ha ha ha ha! FORD: (aside) Beware my friend, beware my friend, my plan is to pursue you. If you touch Alice, I intend to run my sword clean through you. Such joy 'twill give me to impale...or should I say ..."harpoon" this whale! BOTH: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Rejoice, my friend, rejoice, my friend, our plan, you will discover will be successful in the end, and we'll both be her lover. I am hopeful 'twill be fruitful but now my friend it's time for us to steal away, for us to implement the content of plan 'A' Today's the day, and come what may with Mistress Ford, we'll have our way, for as they say "swhern cats will stray, the mouse will play" Farewell Sir. FORD: (aside) I'll thrash this libertine! FALSTAFF: (aside) Such a fool I've never seen! BOTH: My friend, today's the very day the cat's away, the mouse will play, with Mistress Ford we'll have our way, so come what may, today's the day! words © Tom Boyd(Less)