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NextG Presents A Half-Hour of Happy! [2/3]

18,

08:00,

2008-04-22 09:52:48

Description: Would you care to speak to an opera singer, Bill O'Reilly? ©2007 NextG Project. THING 1: "My Favorite Things" is not an actual NextG project, sorry. Although, I wish it was... (More) Would you care to speak to an opera singer, Bill O'Reilly? ©2007 NextG Project. THING 1: "My Favorite Things" is not an actual NextG project, sorry. Although, I wish it was... THING 2: "Fuse," the original techno track located at timecode 6:03, is available for download at the NextG Project website. http://www.freewebs.com/nxgproject/audio/Fuse.mp3 ABSOLUTE MONSTER OF TAGS: You Got a New Item: Power of Grayskull! 500 pts. Hai! By the Power of Grayskull...What happens next? You can find out on the new ASS cups at Burger King! There's a new ASS comic strip cup every week until October 14 when you buy a Burger King Meal Pak! Our friend Sean loves hotcakes, hotcakes / Our friend Sean loves syrup too. According to Ye Olde Book, seniors need at LEAST 15 to 19 hours of sleep per night because—Listen, I'm-a gonna take that-a book and—[straining; gives up] Good night. OOH DOES THIS TURN YOU ON? Supermarket Sweep: Aha, here's the problem, too many TOASTERS! You know what they say...All Toasters Toast Toast! (No bonus.) Bill O'Reilly: Shut up...and shut up publicly. Digging through old tapes is so much FUN! Sesame Street (Don't ask me why I use these clips, I just DO.) Would you care to speak to an opera singer, Bill O'Reilly? An opera singer! Blue, blue...You keep your mouth shut. It made the children laugh and play / To see a lamb in school. yelling at the kid, how dare you? And so the teacher turned him out...[tape slows to a stop] DIE! [explosion] We apologize for this interruption in the program. Those responsible have been DIE'd. Get on with it! YEAH!! GET ON WITH IT!!! [tape rewinds] I just want to get this straight. You, Geraldo Rivera, with teenage daughters, are telling me that you are OK with somebody sneaking into the country and staying here? You're alright with that? My nightmare is my daughters having anything to do with a drunk—Let me finish my answer. My nightmare is my daughters having anything to do with a person driving drunk. That's my nightmare. It could be a Jewish drunk (This guy doesn't have to be here!), it could be a Polish drunk, it could be an Irish drunk, it cold be an Italian drunk, what the hell difference does it make? It makes plenty of difference! It does not! He doesn't have a right to be here! He doesn't have a right to be in this country!! But that has nothing to do with—Yes it does! he should have been deported! Even though it's sometimes very hard, most people like to know the truth about things. Don't obscure a tragedy to make a cheap political point! It's a cheap political point and you know it! No it isn't! This is justice! You want anarchy! You want an open-border anarchy, that's what you want!! Use Listen Up at sporting events and you'll hear all the action...Or listen to the quiet sounds of nature. [Bill and Geraldo arguing in the background] I want the law enforced! and you don't! Sound amplifiers sell for up to 100—More stupid men! I want ASS! Hi-de-ho, neighbors! [cheers and applause] Hi Uncle Ass! Get out! Not until I show you my latest invention. Why it's the most revolutionary device since the ASS clapper! (BONUS!) The AM/FM ASS brush! It's a combination ASS and toothbrush, so you can...listen to the Golden ASS while you brush your pearly whites. Wow. Get out! Get out! Cool! Clean, shine, and protect your ASS safely with Orange Glo. Get out! On your ASS. You can't find these timeless classics in any store, and you won't find them in any other DVD collection! Jesus H. Christ! Holy Jesus! Since we do not have a ceiling ASS, let's put one in. The movies, like the automobile, grew up in the 20th century. But where the automobile is tangible and real...discreetly listen in! "...he's in good shape, doesn't he?" "He's pretty cute..." (No bonus. Serves him right, eavesdropper...) Gentlemen, gentlemen! ["Fuse" plays over a fast-motion montage] Harry dances to "Dragostea Din Tei" by O-ZONE, a.k.a. The Numa Numa Song. It's not much, but what the heck. The Burger King Meal Pak is filled with a juicy hamburger or cheeseburger, regular fries, and a soft drink! It's ShamWOW! You'll be saying WOW every time you use this towel! (O'Reilly [sarcastically]: "OH YEAH.") It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge. A regular towel doesn't work wet. This works wet or dry. ("Wow. Get out.") This is for the house. The car. The ASS. The RV. It holds twenty times its weight in liquid, cuts the job in half. Why do you want to work twice as hard? Pick it up, doesn't drip. Doesn't make a mess. Rinse—They're BAAACK!! The old ladies from the Wendy's commercial, that is, and they're out to find the beef. That's right, it's "Where's the Beef?" Part 2. Get out! When you drive to Wendy's and order a Single, you get more beef than the Whopper or the Big ASS. Get out! At Wendy's you'll never have to ask "Where's The Beef?" Wake up to Breakfast Bears! Nabisco, ooh...Hallo? Yes... (Less)

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