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Truro 2:006 - Stand-Up - Scott Berry

29,

06:15,

2006-08-26 09:44:53

Description: Me trying stand up at Truro 2, a christian based camp that runs for one week every summer. Please comment, any advice welcomed. The sound isn't very good so I've got the script below; (More) Me trying stand up at Truro 2, a christian based camp that runs for one week every summer. Please comment, any advice welcomed. The sound isn't very good so I've got the script below; I decided as this was a Christian camp I'd talk to you about Jesus, so, (Pick up Bible) My first thought when I decided this was that people might say I was being blasphemous, mite not like what I've got to say, I ummed and erred about whether to do this at all really but in the end I decided, Fuck It, God has a sense of humour and there are example of this everywhere, Take the coconut, It is the perfect food, first you make a hole in it, drink the milk, once you've done that you crack it open and use a section of the shell to scoop out the flesh. You've got a drink, you've got food, you've got everything you need. I can imagine God up on his cloud with this perfect food he's designed and what does he do? Sticks it at the top of a 20ft tree, no branches, and spends years laughing at the little Jamaican kids trying to climb up with their arms and legs round it. And that's not the only example either; take the bumblebee, buzzzzz, an it sees a human, decides he's gona sting him, he doesn't look like a nice guy, so he buzz's up, buzzzz, zuppp, stings him, and the bee dies. The humans pretty much fine, and can the bee go and warn his mates, no, he'd dead. You see myself I think all things that sting are a product of the fall, I mean things were perfect before the fall so it makes sense doesn't it. And its interesting to think what else might have been different before then, see if you look in the Bible it tells you, "Genesis 3:14 -- You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life". That's the snakes punishment for his part in the fall, its always interesting to think what the snake might have been like before this happened, ok. Myself I think it bounced round on its tail, using its rattle as a sort of spring. So anyway I told you I was gona talk about Jesus, and what I find interesting is that the first you hear he's a baby, that's fair enough you need to know about his birth, and the next thing you hear he's 12, and I find this interesting, because what jumps out at me is how careless his parents are. If I had a kid and he was the son of God I'd take extra special care of him. But if you look in the Bible, here we go, "Luke 2 verse 44 -- Thinking he was in their company they travelled on for a day. Then they began looking for him". Now I don't know about you but if I'm say an hour late back one evening then my mums calling my mobile, she'll be calling round my friends trying to find out where I am. I almost got my picture put on a milk carton once its ridiculous. So that's Jesus at 12, but you don't hear about Jesus as a teenager which I thinks a bit of a shame to be honest because if he's fully human and fully God, he must have had some of the classic teenage problems. Perhaps he had B.O. perhaps he had acne, perhaps he sometimes woke up just a little bit ummm. No, acne. I think Jesus was a spotty teenager. Not such a problem if you're God. My faith has cleansed me, I mean talk about miracle spot cures. And then why stop there, give himself a six-pack, pecks, he could really beef up. You see I think Jesus was a bit of a lady's man. I can imagine him going out to a party in the evening, stops in at the off-licence on the way. Alright mate I'm gona need six bottles of ... Sorry I'm gona need ID if I'm gona serve you ... Nah I just need water mate. And can you imagine Jesus on the pull? Alright babe? Wana know what heaven feels like? You know I actually pity the girls that Jesus did kiss. Because think after that nothing else would compare to it would it? And the boys who are after a girls who's got with Jesus, they don't stand a chance, its unbelievable. But the way I look at it Jesus teenage years where his training, his practice miracles if you like. The spots were practice for lepers. The water. And he practiced for Lazarus as well. That 72 year old goldfish that never has been fed. And then later Jesus was the ultimate practical joker. Take the resurrection. Mary devastated at the loss of Jesus, but she has to go and anoint the body, it's a job that has to be done. She walks over to the tomb and sees the stones been rolled away. She's shocked to say the least but she goes inside to find out what happened and sees Jesus' body is missing. She runs out sobbing "My Lord, My master, what have they done with his body". Then suddenly; BOO!! Thank you that's the gospel according to Scott, Thanks for listening. (Less)

Channel: youtube

Tags: 2006 2:006 berry coconut fall genisis jesus luke mary puberty reserection scott shock stand stand-up Truro up

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